So when I got out of the BB house the first time, life was insane! My social media mogul status, which I said as a strategy to move forward in the game (and it worked), had become a reality and I quickly had to figure out how to respond to all of it. Good, bad, worse, better, whatever... and luckily I had already experienced some of it before going into the house so I kinda knew what to expect, but still I was overwhelmed. Yet amidst the "I love you's" and "I hate you's", which I equally appreciated, thanks for taking the time, there was one YouTube video that I thought was such a fun and joyful representation of my time in the house. It was BOOTY: https://youtu.be/EACP3yc4lgY
I wanted everyone to see it so I contacted Kylie directly thru YouTube, asked her if I could post her video on my page, and that was the beginning of our relationship. She’s extremely talented and I was excited to be able to showcase her work. I’ll let Kylie take it from here but I want to say one last thing. I exist to help others, to be a role model so that when times are tough for you, you can come to me. Sometimes it’s a difficult task, but I do believe I am meant to bring joy to this world, no matter the cost… And that brings me peace and happiness.
Now, Kylie’s story...
Hello there! My name is Kylie! Some of you may be thinking: Who are you? or How the hell did you get to this point? And no, sorry, this is not a tell-all of how to befriend Frankie (but I suggest you start by worshipping the ground he walks on and screaming very loudly whenever you see him hahaha). I've known Frankie for almost 3 years now, and boy has it been quite the adventure! From video editing, to late night conversations, he has been there for me through thick and thin. The best thing about becoming close to Frankie these past few years is that I got to see a side of him that a lot didn't really get to see. The kid is a kind-hearted beacon of light, and despite from what you see on twitter, he's kind of a genius who has quite the way with words! I was so excited when he started this blog because now you guys get to hear (or rather read) the sophisticated, give zero fucks, Frankie that I got to know and absolutely adore! The reason I bring this up is because it was during one of our conversations that he changed my entire outlook on life. So a little bit more about me, I have anxiety and depression, and it runs in my family. During high school, I ignored it as best as I could, and it wasn't until I began college that I even wanted to confront the mental illness that I have. When I first saw Frankie on Big Brother 16, I instantly connected to him and thought, "Holy shit. Frankie is me if I were this happy ball of energy; my energy was (and still is) to his level, I just struggled with the whole "happy" bit of it all. One night when I had gotten myself into a rut, I decided to finally ask Frankie why, or rather how, he always seemed to be so happy. Put the "Frankie J. Grande" persona aside and Frankie is... well... Frankie. A human just like you and me who has his own battles and obstacles to face. His response was one I didn't expect and I'll never forget. If you don't mind Frankie I'm going to go ahead and quote what you said:
"It takes a lot of work and a lot of faith and a great deal of experience. Basically, I've learned that I enjoy life more when I'm happy and that happiness is a choice. So choose it! It's not easy... But it's so worth it!!!"
From this conversation him and I summed it up to "Happiness is a choice. Choose it!" Although it sounds simple, it was like a light bulb went off in my head, and I was able to view everything in a different light. I grew up with the mentality of "life sucks, you can't control what happens to you, and sometimes you just won't be happy. It is what it is." Being told that I had a greater control over my emotions, and how I react to situations, gave me greater inner strength to fight my depression. I no longer felt like depression was able to have a complete hold on me and that I was capable of fighting back. However, don't misinterpret this. Depression is a very complex mental illness and sometimes it takes more than just the desire or will to be happy to fight what you're feeling, or rather not feeling. In addition to this conversation I did eventually reach out to Frankie about my depression and how I wanted to go to someone to receive help, which led to me receiving medication. He supported me 100% and continued to be there for me. Anyway this was said to me back in April in 2015, and now 2 years later not only is the saying still ingrained in my mind, but forever tattooed on my wrist in Frankie's own writing. It will forever be a constant reminder that I have more control than I may lead myself to believe, and to not give up my battle. Before I got the tattoo in his writing I did have a few people ask me if that was something I really wanted to do in case him and I ever had a falling out. Now I personally believe Frankie is in my life for a reason, but shortly after I got my tattoo we did lose contact for a bit just because our lives went into different directions. His video posting slowed while he began Style Code Live, and I had just graduated from college with my BA figuring out what my next step in life was going to be. All the while his words remained on my wrist, and not only did I have zero regrets, but every day it helped (and still helps) me to stay strong and remember his support. All of this leads to now. As Frankie started his blogging I decided that I was going to have a little fun with it and make random edits/"fan art" as a response. One edit I did in particular apparently stuck out to him so when I saw him again, and he asked me if he could use my art, I was shocked, humbled, and really felt honored that he would even consider letting me be a part of this new chapter. Yes, I was very active in his life post-Big Brother 16, but by the time he had entered Celebrity Big Brother our interactions with each other were very little. For him to come back to work with me again was the best compliment I could've ever received. Having Frankie in my life is a blessing that I never would have expected to have and am beyond grateful that I do. Being a part of the process with his single is something that I can barely express in words. You aren't supposed to just befriend the person that you adored on your television screen.. are you? As a fan, in what reality do you actually get to be a part of their world and work with them on content that they bring to the world? With every teaser, with every song lyric, I know that Frankie has allowed me to be a part of something beautiful... and the amount of gratitude I have to be given this opportunity is inexplicable. To see what I created being spread all over the internet and on iTunes has been a dream so thank you Frankie for letting me be a part of Queen. Thank you for being a beacon of light and sharing your creations with the world. I am so proud of all that you've done.